Lift or Pull

My boys,

There's a question I want you to keep with you forever.

A simple one…

But one that can tell you almost everything you need to know about the people around you.

Should we lift each other up…

Or should we pull each other down?

And I know that sounds obvious.

Of course the answer should be to lift each other up.

But life will show you…

Not everyone thinks that way.

Some people build.

Some people drain.

Some people encourage.

Some people compete in unhealthy ways.

Some people see your growth and feel inspired.

Others…

See your growth and feel threatened.

And that difference—

Matters.

Because who you surround yourself with will shape you more than you realize.

I've learned this over time…

You need to be in spaces where growth is reciprocal.

Where support goes both ways.

Where people genuinely want to see you win…

And you genuinely want to see them win too.

Because that kind of environment…

That's powerful.

That's generative.

That's where people become better together.

And I ask you boys often—

Should we lift each other up…

Or pull each other down?

Because this question is bigger than friendship.

It applies to family.

To business.

To love.

To brotherhood.

When one of you is struggling—

Do you help carry the weight?

Or do you add to it?

When one of you succeeds—

Do you celebrate it?

Or resent it?

When one of you falls—

Do you reach down?

Or step over them?

Pay attention to that.

And more importantly—

Pay attention to who you are becoming.

Because it's easy to point at others.

Harder…

To ask yourself honestly:

Am I lifting…

Or pulling?

And here's what I've come to believe—

If a relationship is constantly one-sided…

If you are always pouring and never being poured into…

That's not healthy.

Lifting each other up has to be reciprocated.

Not perfectly…

But genuinely.

Because even the strongest person will eventually get tired if they're surrounded by people who only know how to take.

So choose carefully.

Be around people who sharpen you.

Who challenge you.

Who support you.

Who remind you that growth doesn't have to be lonely.

And be that person too.

Because the right people don't pull each other down.

They rise together.

I love you.

— Baba

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Question: Are the people around you helping you rise… or teaching you to shrink?

Moral: The right people lift each other up—real growth is strongest when it's reciprocated.

Disclaimer: This story reflects real experiences and philosophies behind Backyard Brew. It is shared to inspire perspective and intention.

Author: R. Solace